Cut Through the Heart
by Nina Windia
Summary: Soon approaching is the traditional Arendelle winter ball, where Elsa must choose from the suitors a husband. It's her duty as queen to procure both a husband and family. But, for as long as Elsa can remember, there's only been one person she could ever love… AnnaxElsa.
1. loving you is in my blood

**Cut Through the Heart**

**Part I: **_loving you is in my blood_

**by Nina Windia**

In the ballroom, the last garlands were hoisted into place. The room was being transformed: ropes of frost-coated ivy threaded with snowdrops criss-crossed the walls, wicker weave baskets packed full of christmas roses perched on every table. An impenetrable ice chandelier hung from the ceiling and on the buffet table, where the staff stood straightening the tablecloth, stood an incredible ice swan. It was a love song, to that breaking season of dark evenings and crisp cold air in your throat.

There wasn't much time left for preparations. In just a few days time Arendelle would hold the winter ball, and begin the annual fortnight-long winter pageant.

Queen Elsa, knee deep in preparations, tried to stave off the dread and focus only on guest lists, budgets, caterers.

Stood with the arch chancellor, observing the preparations, Gerda approached. In her hands were a ring of napkin samples.

"Your Majesty," she said, with a little familiar curtsy. "What do you reckon? Ice blue looks pretty nice. Or would you prefer the white?"

"What do you think Gerda?" Elsa said. She felt tired. She ran her hand up to her braid of ice-blond hair.

"The blue, maybe. Too much white is too forbidding, don't you think?" said Gerda.

"I think you're right. We'll go with that."

"How many do you want made, ma'am?"

She turned to the arch chancellor. He was a squat friendly man who looked somewhat squished, as though a giant had picked him up between his hands and squeezed him too hard. A friend of Elsa and Anna's father, he'd ruled as regent until Elsa came of age. Now, he advised her.

The arch chancellor pulled out a densely packed notebook full of scribbles and flipped through it until he found the right figure.

"We've two hundred and two confirmed coming. Though we're still awaiting reply from the Spring City and Corona," he said.

"Have two hundred and fifty made then, Gerda, just in case," said Elsa.

"Very good your Majesty." Gerda dipped in another curtsy, and disappeared with the samples.

When she was gone, Elsa said, "I really didn't expect the number of replies we've had. I'm starting to worry we won't have room for all the guests."

"Already taken into consideration. I've spoken to a number of the innkeepers and come to an arrangement."

Elsa smiled at him gratefully. "I don't know how I'd do all this without your help, Franz," she said. "I'd no idea of the work that goes into having a ball. Or that I'd have to choose the colour of the napkins!" she laughed.

"This is your first major social event, your majesty. It's bound to be puzzling at first. You'll get the hang of it. But you know... you don't really have to choose the napkin colours. I've told you already: leave that to the staff. You work too hard."

Instinctively, she shook her head. If she didn't think about napkins, her mind would find something worse to focus on instead.

Franz put a comforting hand on Elsa's shoulder. After these few months, it was still a surprising feeling: all the handshakes and easy touches of normal human contact.

"You look tired, Elsa. Why don't you go get some rest? I'll finish up here."

"I'm really fine-" she began to protest.

"You're really not. Gerda tells me you haven't been sleeping. The candle's been burning in your room all night." Franz fixed her in the eye, with a raised knowing eyebrow.

Elsa replied with a purse of her lips. Gerda. Of course. In a castle this small, you really couldn't get away with anything.

"I've said it before but I'll say it again. If you have any concerns you wish to speak to me about, my shoulder is always-"

"Franz..."

"-Because if it's about the suitors and the Winter King, I should say your father always regarded me as quite the expert on-"

"Franz." Elsa stopped him, with a smile. "Thank you."

The arch chancellor stopped. He chuckled. "Alright, Elsa. Just let me know if you change your mind."

What Franz spoke of was an Arendelle tradition dating back hundreds of years. This was how it went: that any unwed monarch would, on the final night of the Winter Pageant, choose from their suitors a partner. For Elsa, that would mean she would spend the Pageant being wooed by the visiting suitors, and choose from them her Winter King. Over a dozen husbands and brides had been found this way. Her history books from her years with tutors told her that it was a remnant, left over from when several lines died out from stubborn monarchs who refused to marry and breed an heir.

Or perhaps more simply, it owed to her people's line of thinking: a queen must have a king.

She was no fool. On the day of her coronation she knew this day would come. However, on the day of her coronation, she'd thought she would be lucky to get through it without being branded a witch.

There were still some that thought that much. Which was partly why they were going to this trouble. There was so much riding on this pageant: not just finding Elsa a husband, but proving to the wary surrounding nations she was not the maleficent snow queen the whispers in the shadows told of.

Her fingers tightened against her palms, threatening to frost her fingernails. She tried to relax. After all, no one told her being queen was going to be easy.

"Have you seen Anna?" she asked Franz. "I haven't seen her today."

"I believe I saw her with our new royal ice harvester this morning," Franz said, a twinkle in his eye. "They were out in the courtyard. Princess Anna was being herself."

Kristoff. Of course. The boy might has well move in, Elsa thought, with the amount of time he spent at the castle. Anna was always dragging him around, and with what Franz said no doubt they'd been thundering down into the fjord on her bike for two again. The two of them argued like an old couple that'd been together for decades.

They really were a perfect match.

"Did you want her for something?" Franz asked.

"No... it's fine," said Elsa.

A voice rent through the air: "Help! _Elsa_!"

It was Anna.

"Anna!" Elsa gasped. No second thought, she turned and fled the ballroom, following her sister's voice. Down the hallway. Down the stairs.

"_Elsa!_"

Fear ripped through her, sharp as shards of ice. She skid round the corner, and came face to face with her sister in front of the trophy cabinet, pinned by down a giant brown bear.

Laila, one of the maids, stood at the other end of the corridor, looking like she was about to scream.

And understanding clicked into place.

"It's not real," she called to Laila. "It's stuffed!"

The bear, stuffed and dead since their great-great-grandfather famously shot it, had toppled from its raised alcove and effectively trapped Anna underneath, its muzzle inches from her face. Its feet, however, still rested on the ledge, which had stopped her being squished completely.

Raising the hem of her dress, Elsa knelt by her sister's side. "Are you okay?" she said.

"I'm alright," said Anna, freckled cheeks pink with embarrassment. "Just stuck."

"What happened?" she asked.

"I was-" she shifted, uncomfortably under the bear, "I was trying to rig up the decorations by myself... but somehow I managed to knock Andre down."

"Andre, ma'am?" inquired Laila.

"The bear," explained Elsa, as she gazed won at the big brute. In their games as children, he'd been known as Andre the Handsome.

"Anna!" The arch chancellor came puffing round the corner, Kai on his heels. Looks of panic on their faces.

"She's not hurt," said Elsa. "We just need to get this off her."

Some of the strong boys were called from the stables, but despite their efforts, the bear wouldn't budge.

"Andre, we need to put you on a diet," said Anna. She was getting progressively pinker and gigglier by the minute.

"Princess Anna, this is no laughing matter," Gerda scolded her. "I don't know how we're going to get you out."

"It's alright," said the arch chancellor. "What we'll just have to do is find the groundsman. We'll saw the bear up to get you out."

"You can't do that," Anna exclaimed. "Not to Andre!"

"Dear girl, I don't see what else we can do," the arch chancellor said, with patience.

"I do," said Anna. She twisted to look at Elsa. "Use your magic," she said.

All eyes turned to her. Elsa noticed now, the large crowd that had assembled.

"I don't know, Anna..." she said, biting her lip. "Maybe we ought to wait for the groundsman..."

Anna addressed Elsa unspoken fear: "You won't hurt me. I know you won't."

"Anna, I..."

The fear bit hard. One wrong move and the bear could topple and squash Anna. It wasn't a matter of being unable to do it. She knew she could. It was as the trolls told her, years ago, when she was too young, and afraid to understand. Fear was her enemy. She had perfect control over her magic, except when she was nervous or afraid. Right now, she was both.

Anna's eyes sought out hers.

"You can do it. I know you can."

There was quiet in the corridor as Elsa stood, straightening her gown out in front of her.

"Okay," she said.

Elsa concentrated. She felt the familiar warm tingle of her magic in her fingertips. Felt it spread up her fingers to her hands: unlike what most people thought, it was not cold. All encompassing, the magic filled her whole body.

The ground began to tremble. And several pillars of ice exploded from the marble floor. Several of the staff jumped back, as it pushed the bear up off Anna and with a crash rolled him onto the floor on the other side. Anna, safe between the pillars, wriggled out and collapsed in relief. Elsa ran to her.

She realised the staff and on-lookers were cheering.

Suddenly, she was knocked into a rough embrace. Anna squeezed the life out of her. Elsa squeezed her back.

Her heart was in her mouth.

"Hey, Elsa... Elsa, why are you crying?"

They sparkled in the corners of her eyes: painfully hard crystalline tears.

"It's just... if anything happened to you, I would... I..."

She couldn't even find the words.

* * *

Night.

Elsa stood by her window, looking out at the sky: black velvet, studded with diamonds. Hung like a lamp above the fjord was a pale half moon.

Several raps at the door, in quick succession.

"Elsa?"

"Come in Anna," she said.

Anna sidled into the room. She wore her nightdress, and her hair fell loose in auburn waves around her shoulders. She looked around the room, curiously. Even after all this time, Elsa thought, she still seemed a little uncomfortable here, uncertain.

"Elsa?" she asked.

"I'm here," said Elsa.

Anna's eyes sought her out in the darkness and she exclaimed, "Oh!" She laughed to herself. "It was so dark in here, I thought you'd gone to bed already."

"I'm about to," said Elsa.

She crossed to the bed and climbed in. She pulled back a corner of the duvet for Anna. An unspoken invitation. Silently, Anna took it. The bed sagged, the sheets rustled, and her sister cuddled up next to her. She was soft and warm.

Elsa wasn't sure how it started. Though she never invited her, and Anna never asked, several times a week there'd be a knock on the door, and Anna would crawl in next to her. But she wouldn't change it: nothing made her happier than falling asleep with her sister's warmth by her side.

"Tired from your wrestling match with Andre?" Elsa said, a quiet whisper near her ear.

"Ex-hausted," sing-song, Anna sung.

There was quiet. Only the murmur of moonlight.

"I know why you did what you did earlier," Elsa said finally.

"I don't know what you mean."

"You've always hated that ugly bear," said Elsa. "You wanted me to use my magic so everyone would see its not dangerous."

The creak of sheets. Anna rolled round to face her sister. "I wanted you to see, too."

Elsa said nothing.

"You treat me like I'm so fragile lately. You need to have more confidence in yourself."

Anna's hand found hers. It was so warm.

"You only get like this when you're worrying. The winter ball, right?"

"Maybe a little..."

"A little?"

The clouds shifted, the pale moonlight extinguished. In the darkness, she could only see the lights of Anna's eyes.

"Okay. A lot," she sighed. "I just don't understand... how I'm supposed to find someone to spend a lifetime with, in just two weeks."

Anna gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry. You're just bound to meet someone. Half the princes in the world sound like they're coming."

It was strange. But somehow, in the dark, Elsa could always be a little more honest.

"But that's the thing- I... I don't even know if I want to meet someone. I just can't imagine it. Having a husband, a family... it's always sounded to me like something from someone else's life. Not meant for me."

She heard the ridiculousness in the words as soon as they left her mouth. She was a queen. Having a husband and children was exactly what she was meant for.

"You only think that way because you haven't met the right person yet," said Anna. Elsa made a noise.

She was well-meaning, but she didn't understand at all.

Anna snuggled up against her, wrapping a hand around her waist. Elsa felt the whole length of her, her warmth.

There just wasn't room left in her heart for anybody else. Because, for as long as she could remember, there was only one person she could love.

Anna's snuffly sleep breathing. Elsa thought, S_omething changed when I locked myself away. Mama and Papa, I know they were trying to help, but... _

She gazed at Anna's sleeping face, her adorable freckles. A strand of her messy hair fell across her face. Elsa brushed it back behind her ear. A treasure, just to be able to touch her like this.

_At first I couldn't put a name to my feelings. And then, I thought it was because we'd been apart so long. I asked about you every day. When I saw you at dinner, and when I bumped into you in the library and made myself turn back, Anna, my heart ached. I never told Mama or Papa, or anyone. It was just one more secret to keep. _

_And now, you've come back to me. And I'm still having to hide. It hurts more than ever. _

And yet, it would be too painful to push her away again. There was nothing she could do. _Loving you is in my blood. _

**To be continued. **


	2. unearthing you

**Part 2- **_unearthing you_

_by Nina Windia_

"Kristoff! Quick! You're going to miss it," Anna called, her voice carrying down the stone tower stairs. A long groan echoed back.

Anna rushed to the window and flung it open wide. She leant out, half out the window, shielding her eyes from the sun. This was the tallest tower in the castle, and the perfect place to look out over the fjord.

"Hurry!" she called over her shoulder, to where Kristoff emerged, breathing hard.

"But…- I don't-… even care-… about some stupid ships," he complained.

"Kristoff!" she admonished him. "They're not some stupid ships. It's Queen Matilda's flagship, the _Briar Rose_."

Dimly, she heard Kristoff making some quip about rich people having too much money, but Anna wasn't listening. White sails emerged over the cliffs, and the convoy emerged.

"Wow! Look at that."

There was the _Briar Rose_, just like she'd seen in her history books, three hundred years old with gleaming waxed masts and mermaid brow. Following behind was her entourage, the three ships of her three sons. Behind, in convoy were the party from Laputa and the ship bringing the princes of Appleshore.

"A-mazing," whistled Anna.

Kristoff slouched up to her side. "So why do they need_ four _ships?" he asked, deadpan.

Anna replied with a playful shove of her shoulder.

Usually, this was the cue for a shove war, of which many a battle had been staged between the couple.

Instead, Kristoff didn't flinch. Anna glanced up at him from under her eyelashes. He gazed out at the fjord, scratching a scab on his chin.

So. He was still mad at her.

Anna reached up and touched one of her braids, playing with it absently.

"You see that ship there?" she pointed out to a boat with a shimmering silver hull.

"Hmm?"

"They're from the Shimmering Islands. Do you know why it's called that?" She left no space for Kristoff to answer. She simply rolled on, picking up momentum as she went. "I learnt about it from my tutor years ago. The islands don't shimmer. But everyone there wears these plates of polished metal, hammered so thin they're lightweight. And the explorer that first made contact with them looked out with his binocular from the the ship, and the beach itself seemed to shimmer. Because lots of people were standing out on the beach to see the ship, see. I think that's really neat— I'd love to go and visit one day. Though I'd love to see the Spring City, too, and— and…"

She came to a sudden stop, like a locomotion engine steaming up to the platform. "I'm rambling, aren't I?" she said.

Elbows perched on the windowsill, Kristoff looked at her with eyebrows raised in amusement. "Yeah, you are," he said.

That was Kristoff for you. Honest to a fault. Unsurprising, considering his family were rocks and his best friend a reindeer. But his honesty was one of the things Anna liked best about him.

Her apology was a sneeze stuck in her throat. _I'll just say sorry, right now, _she thought. _I'll say sorry and we'll go back to the way we were before._

Apologies had always come easily to Anna. When she broke the suit of the armour at the bottom of the stairs she apologised, and eventually Kai would get it back together again, and everything would be fixed. And yet, she found herself in an entirely new situation: where her apology wouldn't mean anything, because this was a situation that couldn't be fixed.

So she swallowed the apology down, even though it left a strange feeling in her throat.

"I think…" she said, "I should go see Elsa. She's probably finished her meeting now. I said I'd go help her practice for the ball."

"Practice?"

"Dancing." She would have taken Kristoff's hand and swung him round at this, once.

"You're teaching her?"

"I'm assisting. My old dance tutor is teaching her. To be honest, I didn't know the old barnacle was still alive. But he's still hanging on in to the hull."

"Right," said Kristoff.

An awkward silence stretched between them. Neither were sure what to do with it.

"I guess I'll see you at the ball tomorrow night, then," said Kristoff at last.

"Yes," said Anna, grateful. Hesitant, and then, determined, she approached him to offer a goodbye kiss.

And Kristoff turned away, pain etched between his eyebrows. He said, "There's no point, Anna. Not if you don't mean it."

In a sudden movement, he stepped away, clumping down the stairs.

Anna stared after him, clutching tightly hold of her braid.

"It's not like I don't mean it…" she said, but her words vanished with the breeze.

* * *

It wasn't even lunch time, and Elsa felt exhausted.

Wandering down the corridor, she rubbed at her eyes. The whole morning had been an endless parade of audiences with princes, princesses, dukes, duchesses, lords, ladies and noblefolk.

She'd been getting better at it, but still, after a lifetime locked away in her bedroom with only her own loneliness for company, dealing with people wasn't easy for Elsa.

At least the council meeting let it early. Scheduled next was her dancing lesson, which made her apprehensive. But at least Anna would be there. She brightened at that.

The door to the ballroom was left ajar. She was early, and didn't expect Anna to have arrived yet. Her sister was supposed to be on a date with Kristoff this morning— he was one of the few reasons she'd get up before eleven.

So she was more than surprised when she spotted Anna sat in the alcove under Edward the conqueror, her face pressed to her dress.

"Anna?"

Her sister started up. "E-Elsa?"

Elsa paused, and took a step forward. "What's wrong?"

Her sister's usual nervous tic, Anna fingered the ends of her hair.

"It's dumb," she said.

"Tell me anyway." Elsa sat beside her in the alcove.

"You're going to laugh at me…"

"I won't."

Anna dropped her hands from her braids. "It's… it's Kristoff. We had an argument."

"But the two of you always argue…"

"Yeah, but just for fun! This…. well, it's different. We—"

"Your Majesties?"

Elsa looked up. It was the dance instructor, old Johan, and Jon, his long suffering grandson: a talented pianist.

_Talk about bad timing, _she thought.

"Excellent. You're both here. Princess Anna, colour me impressed. You're actually punctual for once." Beside her, Anna made a noise. "Are you ready to begin?"

"Wouldn't dream of keeping you waiting," said Anna, standing. To Elsa she said, "Can… we talk later?"

"Of course."

As Anna swayed towards the instructor, Elsa gazed at her retreating back in concern.

"Now, my Queen… if you could please join myself and Princess Anna by the piano… I thought we would start today with an easy walz," said the instructor.

The lesson began.

Anna and Johan took turns as her partner, until he realised she was more comfortable and natural with Anna, and let her take over. Instead, he figeted and prodded her when her posture slipped, harassing Anna about all the countless things she'd forgotten since he was her tutor.

Though Elsa had zero interest in learning to dance, as she picked up the steps she found herself enjoying herself more and more. She put this completely down to her partner. Her little sister had been born with the ability to make almost anything fun. When she made a mistake or stood or Anna's foot, they just ended up laughing together.

When Johan became inpatient about their antics and snapped, the Queen and Princess simply exploded into giggles.

Johan snapped his sheet music in two. "I don't think you need me here at all, Majesty and Majesty," he said, and stormed off in a huff.

"Good. The old barnacle is gone," laughed Anna. Even Jon chuckled from his seat in front of the piano. "Now we can practice properly."

Elsa thought, it was like when they were children again, playing and causing trouble before their parents woke. She'd recaptured that old feeling.

Though it'd never been like this before. Spinning in Anna's arms, Elsa's chest felt warm. It glowed. Like there was something inside her— a lantern— throwing out light. It illuminated her from every pore. How did no one else notice such light?

She spoke words she'd ordinarily keep locked in her heart: "I wish I didn't have to get married. That it could be just you and me like this forever."

She expected Anna to tell her she was wrong; she'd meet Mr Right, find her Prince Charming, ect ect. But to her surprise, Anna just smiled.

"That would be lovely, wouldn't it?"

* * *

"Elsa? Elsa? _Elsa_?"

Anna _hrmmm'_d. Her raps on the bedroom door had received no response. She leant down, peering through Elsa's keyhole, but it was bunged up. Vaguely, she remembered trying to shove something through to Elsa years ago and getting it jammed.

By the time Kai came up the stairs, Anna was lying on the floor like a draft stopper, peering through the crack under Elsa's door.

"Ma'am. Ahem."

Anna sat up so quickly she cracked her head on the door handle.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch!" A hand went to her scalp. "Kai," she said.

"Are you alright Princess Anna?" said Kai. An equal amount of amusement as concern in his voice. One of the longest standing members of staff, he was more than used to Anna's accidents. He'd cleaned up the messes left from them more than once.

"Ah. Yes. I'm— ouch— fine. By the way… Kai, could you get me a coat hanger?" Anna gave him her best endearing eyes.

"A coat hanger." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. I want to get this paper out of the keyhole. So I can see if Elsa's awake."

"…Wouldn't it be easier just go in quietly, Ma'am?"

Anna blinked. "Oh. Right. Good idea Kai."

She stood, rubbing her sore head. Kai spoke, still the tone of amusement: "By the way, the Queen left a message for you. She said if you needed to talk to her, you should feel free to wake her up. She's had a long day meeting the dignitaries, but—"

Before Kai could finish, however, Anna was gone, Elsa's door clicking behind her.

Kai sighed a fond sigh, and continued on his rounds.

* * *

Elsa's candle was guttering. A tiny pale flame, it danced, dying, at the bottom of the saucer.

In her bed, Elsa curled on her side, sleeping soundlessly. Her loose french braid laid across her pillow.

Anna moved towards her quietly, trying not to knock anything over. She thought how beautiful her sister looked. Even in her sleep, Elsa possessed more charm and grace than Anna would ever have in her life.

It shamed her to admit she'd been jealous of her once. The thought appalled her now, especially since she'd leant what Elsa had been through for her sake.

_When you started ignoring me, I thought it was because you hated me, _she mused. _Because you thought you were better than me. And Father spent so much time with you alone… I got jealous. I thought I hated you, too. I had no idea…_

On Elsa's desk, a glint caught her eye. A letter opener. She took it, and set to work on easing the screwed up knot of paper from the doorknob. It didn't take her long before it plopped out onto the carpet.

Curiously, Anna unscrewed it. It was a note, written in a childish hand in blue crayon.

_Deer Elsa,_

_Plese be my frend agen. Plese pick yes or no_

_yes No_

_if no plese rite wy._

And underneath there were several untidy lines, enough for Elsa to have written a small essay.

Anna's heart constricted. She remembered writing this. She'd even chosen the blue crayon because it was Elsa's favourite colour to colour in. She'd done a dozen of notes like this, none of which received any response.

It'd survived so long, Anna couldn't bear to throw it away. Instead, she replaced the letter opener on the desk, and opened the draw underneath.

Inside, in the dim light of the dying candle, Anna saw a slice of blue crayon, poking out from underneath a pile of official looking letters.

She thought, _There's no way. _

Peering back at Elsa, still sleeping, she pulled the paper out from underneath. There was a whole stack of them. Her letters.

They were all there.

On the top was the letter she'd written on a sheet of her father's stationary with the royal letterhead, stolen from his study.

_Deer princess Elsa_

_Your presents is formale recested to play with anna on her bicecle._

_Sincerle, anna._

_ps. I will giv you chocolate._

When this approach hadn't worked, she'd even sent a letter with a piece of now grey looking chocolate taped to it. Shockingly, even this hadn't received a response.

And yet, Elsa had kept them all. Even the letter with the mouldy chocolate.

The letters in her hands, Anna slipped down to the carpet, back against the knobbly desk. Even after all this time, how little she'd known about her sister.

After the sadness, and after the resentment, Elsa had become a ghost. When their parents died, Elsa stopped leaving her room. But even before that, her sister had stopped being a sister; she was the creak upstairs, the flash of blond hair, the murmur from another room.

Anna stood, and tucked her letters away back in Elsa's drawer. She was unearthing something, an important treasure she'd buried and forgotten a long time ago.

Sitting on the bed by Elsa's side, she decided she wouldn't wake her. There would be other times they could talk.

The candle guttered, and went out.

Anna touched Elsa's braid, to make sure she was real.

**To be continued. **


	3. something they've never seen before

**Part 3: **_something they've never seen before_

_By Nina Windia_

The servants rolled open the doors. Anna, on Elsa's arm, goggled at the transformation of the ballroom. It looked even better than yesterday. Packed with people, on the buffet tables stood life-sized ice sculptures; a bear, a swan, a dancer.

Something was falling from the ceiling. Anna raised her hand, and stared up in bewilderment. She gasped. Snow was falling, but evaporating before it could touch her hand.

"How did you even have time for all this?" she asked, agog. Elsa replied with a simple smile. She looked, Anna thought, weary. She was the picture of elegance she always was in one of her own own icy dress creations, hair braided and twisted into a sparkling net. Her posture, perfect. Epitome of composure. But, Anna saw the bags she was carrying beneath her eyes.

"When you don't have time, you make some," she said.

Anna gazed at her sister in admiration. Though, she felt a twang of guilt too. Sure, she had duties too, but most of the time she just messed around. Her attention slipped easily. She wished she could be as hard-working as Elsa.

Eyeing at the bags beneath her sister's eyes she thought, _I'm going to have to sleep with her more often. I bet she stays up working all night when I'm not there. _

Elsa, who noticed Anna's intent stare looked at her, raising a poised eyebrow.

Anna turned pink. "Sorry," she coughed.

"Why?"

_Why? _Shyly, Anna smiled at her. Why indeed?

The trumpets blared. Kai announced, "Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Her sister, Princess Anna of Arendelle."

The whole room seemed to turn and stare. A few people were looking at her, but almost every eye was glued to her sister.

From their perspective, she saw why. In her crystalline dress, she shined. She was something they'd never seen before. She held her head, high, powers on show for all to see; proudly. Her dress she wore tight with a slit almost to her thigh; defiantly. She looked mysterious, dangerous, and utterly desirable.

If Anna was eating a sandwich, she would have choked on it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please, let me officially welcome you to Arendelle," Elsa said, voice carrying across the room, "for our annual Winter Paegent. I hope that—"

And Anna stared out into the crowd with abrupt hostility. Men, women and children, of all different nationalities, in different dress. But, mostly men, here to win her sister's hand.

_None of them are good enough for her, _she thought, with sudden violence.

Her plan of action now fell neatly into place. It was her duty, as a sister, to vet these dopey dukes and princes. Her experience with a certain prince left her with a lingering distrust for their kind. But she decided: there wouldn't be another Prince Hans. She was going to find Elsa the creme de la creme of husbands.

"—So please enjoy your time here, and take in everything Arendelle has to offer," Elsa finished. Warm applause.

Though for some reason, Anna felt more than one person staring at her. Her eyes flicked to the mirrored wall, and she caught sight of herself: gripping hold of Elsa's arm in a vice grip and grinning like an idiot.

"Anna, are you feeling okay?"

When Elsa turned to her, Anna was as pink as a grapefruit.

Staring at her shoelaces, she mumbled something that sounded a lot like, "Mimble-wimble."

* * *

"Excuse me— pardon me— coming thro—ough—" Anna squeezed through the crowd, pushing through to where she thought she'd spotted Kristoff's familiar mane of blond hair. "Scuz me—"

The crowd moved; finally, she saw him.

He was hanging around by the punch table in a tux, looking awkward without Sven by his side. She eyed the tux; when it came down to it, he scrubbed up pretty good.

"Kristoff!" she called, pushing in between two rather ample gentlemen.

"Anna," he said, in relief. He barely had time to put the punch glass down before Anna grabbed him by the hand and whisked him off.

"Anna—" he said, "where—" he narrowly avoided slamming into the duchess of Pembury, —"are we going?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Oh—" he knocked into the buffet table, the ice sculpture wobbling. "Question still stands. Where are we going?"

"We need to talk in private. These people won't leave me alone otherwise." She'd been accosted by three dukes and a duchess already just trying to find Kristoff.

She pulled him out into the corridor and into a tiny bathroom, no bigger than a closet, pulling the door up behind her.

Kristoff looked around the darkness. "Well, this is cosy," he said.

The words were ready to rush from her mouth when suddenly, they vanished from her mouth. The small bathroom meant she and Kristoff were stood almost close enough to touch. Despite that, there was still so much she couldn't say to him.

Avoiding him hadn't helped. Only made things stranger.

"Um…"

"You said you wanted to talk to me. In private," Kristoff prompted. He looked amused, but in his eyes she could see that lingering sadness.

I'm sorry Kristoff, she thought. I still can't do this. I'm not ready.

Instead, she decided: tonight is about Elsa. I have to help her.

"My sister has to choose a suitor in a fortnight's time," said Anna.

"Yeah, I heard," Kristoff said, with a wry smile.

"Right. But the thing is, Elsa's no good with men. I tried to ask her about what her type was the other day and she wouldn't give me a straight answer."

"I'm not sure where you're going with this."

"So we need to help her, Kristoff! We need to find someone who will be absolutely perfect for her. She acts like she's not interested in guys… but I just _know_ Mr Right is out there for her."

Kristoff didn't look terribly convinced about this.

"Plus, I'm worried about some slimy prince marrying her just for the throne," she added.

"Fair point."

Her brows furrowed. Thinking about Hans always got her angry. Ooh, it made her so furious remembering what he'd tried to do!

"You've got your mad face on again Anna," said Kristoff.

"Yeah well, you know what, thinking about these guys makes me mad. What do they think princesses and queens are, meal tickets? It makes me crazy!"

"I noticed."

Anna glared at him.

When the door clicked open and light filtered into the pitch black bathroom. Startled, Anna whirled round to see a man she'd never met before.

You couldn't escape from these guys anywhere!

"Princess Anna, charmed to meet you. My name is Gerald, lord of Applemore." Anna nodded decisively at Kristoff. He put his head in his hand and groaned. Gerald continued, "I wondered if you could introduce me to—"

Before he could take another word, however, Anna grabbed him by his frilly cravat and pulled him inside.

"First things first…" Anna took a deep breath. The man looked terrified. Kristoff sighed and pushed the door shut.

"Where are you from? How many brothers do you have? Do you like sandwiches? What's your shoe size? What are you intentions towards my sister?!"

Kristoff put his hands in his pockets and lent back. After six months with Anna, he'd learnt to just roll with it.

* * *

The ball was quickly becoming a blur.

Elsa had shook hands with what felt like the entire room. She'd met princes and princesses, a couple of queens, a score of dukes, a whole contingency of lords and more counts than she could count. All the while trying to remember names, titles and the correct amount of pomp they afforded their owners. And trying not to freeze things, of course.

The truth was, in large social events like that, Elsa couldn't relax. Planning and having control of the details helped, but she could never swallow down the nervousness in her throat, or push away the part of her that just wanted to run away to a quiet room.

Plus, she swore that was the fourth time Lord Ainsbury had introduced himself and shook her hand.

When Duke Harrington, their nearest trade partner, asked for her hand to dance, her shoulders felt so still she could barely move them. Until Harrington pointed out, "Queen Elsa… um…" she realised she'd iced over her shawl.

"Oh."

He put his hand on her waist, and the musicians started the next song.

She wished Anna was here. She wished the rules were different. If she could only dance with her, she knew she wouldn't feel half as nervous. Why couldn't two women dance together anyway?

She went around the room, partner to partner. As soon as one dance ended she found herself surrounded by suitors, asking for the next.

Where _was _Anna? she thought.

Relief, as she found herself dancing with Franz, and she didn't have to keep asking after relatives and cousins.

"How are you enjoying the evening your Majesty?" he asked.

She smiled. "It's a little overwhelming."

"Have you noticed anyone in particular yet?" he asked, a twinkle in his eye.

"Well, Lord Perriweather shook my hand so enthusiastically I thought it was going to fall off. And the duke of Lambridge gave me a jar full of jellied eels."

"What a charmer," Franz said, laughing. "Still, plenty of time. I take it you've considered suitable political alliances already."

She nodded. "I wrote down some names as soon as the guest list was decided."

"And?"

"Any of the eastern lords apart from Baimbride. The King of Wessex would be a risky match, but we'd more than double our treasury."

"Though… as you are aware, his five infamous sons are not fond of stepmothers."

"Indeed." If the rumours were true, the last didn't manage a month.

"By the way," she said, "is Anna still here? I haven't seen her in what? Almost an hour?"

"I have to admit my concerns as well. Kai told me he saw her vanish into the bathroom down the corridor with young Kristoff—"

"Oh. Oh. Well…"

"—And Prince Edward as well."

"…Huh?"

Though they still had half a dance to go, Elsa dropped Franz's hand and made her way through the crowd. When people tried to hail her she shook her head. "I'm sorry, not now," she said.

Outside the bathroom, she paused. She heard Anna's voice quite clearly.

_Just what is she doing…?_

"—And so you have no interest in her wealth whatsoever?"

"No- no, Princess Anna. I assure you, I wish to wed your sister because… because I have heard of her renowned beauty," the prince stumbled.

"So you just want to marry her for her looks, that what you're saying?"

"Pl-please, Princess Anna, I—"

Elsa pulled open the door. Three heads looked up. Prince Edward was sat, cowering, on the toilet. Anna, her face lit ominously with a candle she held under her chin, was in full interrogation mode.

"ANNA!"

* * *

_To be continued._

* * *

_A/N: Hi all! I just wanted to thank everyone who read and reviewed. :) Sorry for the long space between the last update. Work's been keeping me busy, but I've got some time off now, so next chapter shouldn't be so long.  
_

_If anyone has any suggestions for where the story should go feel free to suggest them. I'm still pretty open about where this story is going. Right now I'm just enjoying writing Anna and Elsa. They're such interesting characters to write. ^_^_


	4. all I can do is hurt you

**Part 4-**_ all I can do is hurt you_

_By Nina Windia_

"Anna, what on earth were you thinking?"

Inside, the party was starting to quiet down. On the balcony overlooking the gardens, Elsa stared down her sister. Anna hung her head.

"Do you know how long it's taken me to find all the men you manhandled and apologise?" Elsa said, hands on her icy hips. "You need to think about Arendelle's reputation. You kidnapped a prince, for god's sake."

This wasn't what she needed. A long stressful evening strengthening diplomatic relations and there was her sister, undoing all the good she'd done.

Just what had Anna been playing at?

"I'm sorry Elsa," said Anna, staring at her shoes. "I was… only trying to help…"

"How, exactly?" said Elsa. Anna mumbled something in response. Elsa paced on the balcony. "You traumatised the duke of Salisbury so badly he was shaking. Were you—" Two women, giggling, appeared through the doors and made their way to the garden. Elsa lowered her voice. "—Aware of that?"

The words burst from Anna: "Oh Elsa, please. I said I was sorry!" Self-consciously she touched her hair. "I just… I just wanted to make things easier for you, that's all I thought. I thought I could help you find someone. I just wanted to help…"

So that was it. She should have known. Elsa took a deep steadying breath.

"Anna," she said,with measure, "I appreciate your concern, but this is my problem. For me to solve."

Anna took a step forward. "But don't you see, Elsa? It doesn't have to be! Let me help you." She clasped Elsa's hand, squeezing it earnestly between her own.

Without warning, at Anna's touch, a shock ran through Elsa. All the way to her deepest part. Her flesh quivered. She squeezed her eyes closed.

"Elsa?"

Elsa tore her hand away, more roughly than she intended. Hugged her arms tight across her chest.

She was greeted by the hurt in her sister's eyes. That was the worst part about it.

"Elsa…" there was a quiver in her sister's voice, "I… I don't understand."

_Sweet little sister, I'm sorry,_ she thought.

"I have to go back inside, Anna. I haven't spoken to the delegation from the Southern Isles yet." She turned to the door. Stopped, when Anna's voice caught her like a string around her ankles.

"Elsa, please. Can't we talk? Something feels strange."

How long can I pretend to myself that these feelings for you are pure? Every time you touch me, I want you.

"Anna. You know how important tonight is."

"I know, but…" a note of pleading, digging deep into the marrow of her bones.

_I'm an animal._

"So don't bother me, please."

She opened the door. She didn't dare look back at Anna.

_All I can do is hurt you._

* * *

Musicians played; people danced. But Anna stood alone in the corner of the room, picking a loose thread from her gown.

She'd been so looking forward to tonight, and now she just felt miserable.

She pushed me away. _Why? Am I really that much of a bother…?_

"By that long face, the Queen must have given you a real scolding."

Her head snapped up. "Kristoff!" she said in relief. She slung her arms around his waist and hugged him tight.

"Whoah? What's wrong?" he said.

She poked his nose chidingly. "What? I can't be happy to see you?"

* * *

"Queen Matilda, it's an honour to finally meet you," Elsa said. Before her was the queen of the Spring City, a tiny little old woman shrivelled up as an old conker. Impeccably dressed. Not one hair out of place.

"Honour. Nonsense. No need for all that my dear. Arendelle's a charming little place. I'd have come visit years ago if you father didn't keep the place sealed up tighter than a nun's thighs," she said.

Elsa tried very hard to keep her face stoic. She'd heard tales of Queen Matilda, but that was one thing and actually meeting her in the flesh was another.

"You probably don't know this dear, but there were so many rumours for years about why your father kept the castle shut up. Best one I heard, he'd started a harem. You hear that one, hm?"

Elsa stared. All words had abandoned her. Thankfully she rescued trying to make a response by a young man, suited and booted, putting a hand on Matilda's shoulder.

"I apologise for my grandmother. She likes to get a reaction from people," he said.

Matilda bauked at this. "He apologises for me, he says!" She stared straight at Elsa. "Don't marry any of my grandsons," she told her. "They've no manners whatsoever. Apologise for me, he says…"

"Grandmother, now…" the young man said soothingly.

"Especially this one! Especially!" she said, stabbing a finger at her grandson. "Hasn't a clue what to do with it. You don't know how many lovely young ladies we've been through. Waste of time. We even snuck up this particularly saucy lass up to this room one night, and—"

The poor prince had gone quite pink. "Grandmother—" he protested.

"Quiet, Jareth. You know I hate interruptions—"

She paused, however, as a young woman joined their circle.

"Don't stop on account of me. You know I love your stories Grandmother," she said. She had, Elsa noticed, her blond hair done in two braids, so much like Anna often wore hers. Except this girl was as pale as the face of the moon, her cheeks tinted with rouge. Elsa didn't know if it was a good effect, however. She reminded her of the china dolls she had when she was a child. There was something about her that seemed unreal.

Jareth let out a long groan. "Ada…" he complained.

"I'm not telling it now," Queen Matilida said grumpily. "You interrupted me, and I 've lost my place."

Jareth mouthed, 'Thank god,' at Elsa. She smiled back, perplexed.

The girl dropped into a curtsy. "Your Majesty," she said. "I should introduce myself. My name's Ada. I'm the Queen's seer."

"Seer?" A word she recognised, vaguely, from textbooks. She felt confused. Somehow, she'd gotten the impression the girl was one of Matilda's many grandchildren. "I thought you were…" she looked from Matilda to Ada. Ada understood what she was saying. She laughed.

"Not at all! I'm no more than a low-born girl," she said.

"But I'd rather have Ada as a granddaughter than the loaf grandsons I got," Matilda said. She reached for the girl's hand and squeezed it with compassion. "She's my precious little bird. I won't let her fly away."

"I promise I won't Grandmother," Ada laughed, squeezing back.

"Seer…" said Elsa. "I'm trying to recall. Does it have something to do with the future?"

"Yes, your Majesty. I see the future."

"She's the real deal," Jareth said. "Her predictions always come true."

It was hard to believe. "Is that… a kind of magic?" Elsa said.

"I suppose it must be. I've always been able to do it, since I was small."

Another person other than herself, capable of magic…

"And have people always believed your predictions?" she asked.

Ada bit her lip. Her eyes she cast down. "Not in my hometown. People thought I was strange… my own parents thought I was a witch. For a long time I was locked up. I was very lucky to have met the Queen…. She's been very kind to me."

Elsa's heart was moved. She looked at the girl before her; she was perhaps Anna's age. How similar her story was to her own… she wondered what would have happened to Ada if she hadn't met Queen Matilda. Just like she wondered, sometimes, what would have happened to her if Anna hadn't existed in her life.

To tell the truth, she didn't like to think about it.

Ada's eyes met hers. "If you'd like, your Majesty, I can make a prediction for you."

"I'm not sure…" said Elsa. Did she really want to see her future? Even thinking about tomorrow was sometimes frightening.

"You're looking for a suitor, right? Maybe it will help shed some light on it."

_At this point, anything would help,_ Elsa thought. And she had to admit: she was intrigued.

"I'll take you up on your offer," she said.

"Take my hands, your Majesty," said Ada. She held them out. Elsa hesitated, and took them. "I have to warn you: I can't always see anything."

Ada closed her eyes. Queen Matilda and Jareth watched on with curiosity.

And Elsa felt unease run through her. But it was too late to say no now.

Ada's eyebrows burrowed down. "I don't understand," she said, as though to herself. "I asked about your future love prospects, but all I see is… is that the Princess Anna?"

_No!_

Ice shot up the girl's arms. She gasped from the cold, dropping Elsa's hands.

Elsa stepped back, head reeling. She started shaking and couldn't stop.

Now all there was left was the first call of "Witch!" She could see it now: the cry for her abdication, banishment, or worse. After all, what kingdom would want a queen so wicked she lusted after her own sister?

And it was all out there now. Now, everyone would know. Worse, Anna would know.

Would she ever want to see her again?

"Queen Elsa… are you alright?"

The panic faded away around her. Elsa came to, and realised that the crisis had been all in her own head. People were looking at her curiously.

"I… I'm so sorry," she said to Ada, dissolving the ice from her arms in an instant. "My powers, sometimes…"

"Please don't worry," said Ada, flexing her fingers. "No harm done."

"Perhaps," suggested Jareth, "it was your powers, in close proximity to Ada's…"

She would happily go along with that.

"I'm sorry I didn't see anything useful," said Ada. "As I said, it doesn't always work. Though I could try again…?"

"No, no… not necessary," said Elsa.

She realised:they don't understand. Though it didn't quell the shaking in her heart.

* * *

_To be continued._


	5. the longest night

**Part 5- **_the longest night_

_By Nina Windia_

Staring blankly at the book in her hands, Elsa realised she'd read the same sentence five times, and still hadn't taken in a single word.

The candle guttering, she gave up. She slumped heavily against the pillows, book cracked open on her face. When she closed her eyes, she still saw lines of text imprinted on the inside of her eyelids, repeating themselves endlessly. She pulled the book from off her nose and snapped it shut, setting on the nightstand.

The moon was a half grapefruit, perched on the windowsill.

Elsa pressed the heels of her palms against her buzzing eyelids. She didn't dare look at the clock.

_Anna's not coming tonight, _she told herself. A small voice asked, after all, why would she? _After the way you treated her. _

Elsa rolled onto her side, pulling the cover over her in a jerk of angry frustration.

_Your own feelings frightened, and you shut her out… just like before. _A hand went to her heart. _Like I promised I'd never do again. _

Why was she still thinking this? She needed to sleep. And yet her restless emotions rattled around in her chest. Her encounter with the seer had frightened her, and the fear stuck to her chest like a bad cold she couldn't shake off. Terrifying, to hear the feelings she'd kept inside so long voiced out loud. For so long had her feelings for Anna been a part of herself, part of what made her, her. To hear them in another's mouth: a breach of her own self. Like someone rubbing dirty hands over her most precious possessions.

…It was no good. In her head, thoughts tangled like lines of text, became incoherent. Elsa slugged back the corner of the bed cover and extracted herself from the bed. An afterthought, she waved a drowsy hand, and an icy dressing gown fell over her shoulders. She pulled the door handle and went out into the corridor, thinking bathroom, water. Water would surely help clear her head.

In the darkness, something moved. Elsa froze. Her mind jumped to possibilities. Animal? Assassin?

Too dark to see, but there was a definite shape crouched by her bedroom door. _Waiting for me to sleep to strike? _

Elsa pulled her dressing gown up tight around her. Her voice, when she spoke, sounded braver than she felt. "Whoever you are, show yourself," she demanded.

A quiet voice said, "E-elsa?"

That voice—

"Anna?" She knelt down by the dark shape she knew now as her sister. "What are you doing out here? It's the middle of the night."

"Elsa… I know you're mad at me, b-but—" her sister let out a small hiccup. Elsa's eyes widened in the darkness. Was Anna crying?

"Anna," she said softly, "what's wrong?"

She reached in the dark for Anna, and at the last minute, pulled back, cradling her hand to her chest. Fear struck her heart. "Was it me?" she asked. "Did… did I upset you?"

Confusion and tears thickened Anna's voice. "…What? No. It was…" she trailed off.

Elsa asked, "Why didn't you come in and tell me about it?"

"I… I was going to. But then I remembered. And I… I didn't want to bother you. You had a long night. So I…"

_So you sat outside my door, because I'd made you afraid to knock. For how long?_ she wondered. _How long has she been out here crying?_

_What an excuse of a sister I am. _

"Anna," she murmured. Reaching in the dark, she found an arm. She squeezed it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like this. I was stressed… I took it out on you. But Anna, even if we get annoyed at one another sometimes, you can still come to me. You don't have to—" her voice snagged. She breathed, "talk to a door anymore."

She needed to stop thinking about herself, her own desires. Swallow her own needs— even if they burned the whole way down.

_And be her sister, damn it Elsa._

Her words loosened the floodgates in Anna. She fell upon her, sobbing into her nightgown. Words tumbled from her mouth, incoherent. Elsa caught single snatches from the mess. "He said I wasn't-", "-Kristoff-", "-be friends-"

Somehow, Elsa managed to coerce the younger girl from the hard floor into her room. She was still wearing her stiff ball gown, now hopelessly crumpled. Anna reached behind her to undo the buttons, but her fingers were trembling so hard Elsa moved behind her and started, deftly, to undo them herself. For some reason, she noticed, they'd been done up wrong in the first place. Anna pushed the dress from her shoulders and let it puddle her around her feet. The moonlight washed out her freckles, and made her into a different girl. In her undergarments she crawled under the covers. There, Elsa held her. When she shook, pulled her closer, as though she could pull Anna's sorrow out of her and into herself. Stroked Anna's soft hair, and murmured to her sweet nothings.

When at last she quietened, Elsa said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Face pressed to Elsa's neck, she felt her sister nod. Anna pushed herself up.

"Kristoff and I… we broke up," she said. "He said it wasn't working… and we should still be friends."

This was one of the options Elsa suspected. For some time now, her sister and her boyfriend seemed to be having problems. Where once she saw Kristoff at the castle everyday, he appeared perhaps once or twice a week.

"Well… you know balls aren't really Kristoff's kind of thing, so went back to his house to feed Sven." As the royal ice master, Kristoff had his own house in town for him and Sven. Unwittingly, he'd picked up Olaf as a housemate, who'd taken a real shining to the reindeer. Kristoff was less pleased about the situation. "We haven't been getting along so well lately. I mean…" she bit her lip in the most adorable fashion as she struggled to express herself. "He means a lot to me. I love to spend time with him. And he doesn't think so, but he's so _funn_y. But I…."

It all snapped into place.

"But you don't love him," Elsa breathed.

"No!" Anna gasped. She pushed herself up with the force of her conviction. "No… I mean…" tears pooled under her eyes. In the moonlight they sparkled like ice.

The words she spoke like a deadly confession: "I thought I did. I was sure I did. Otherwise I would have never…"

"Would have never….?" A cold hand seized Elsa's heart.

Anna couldn't look her in the eye.

"When he kissed me, I never felt anything. I thought it was because there was something wrong with _me_. I tried to pretend, but Kristoff… he always noticed. And it hurt him. I thought I could make myself love him as much as he loved me. So I…" she trailed away.

"So you did what?" Elsa said, more urgently than she intended.

"You're going to be _furious _with me," Anna said, squeezing her eyes shut.

"You did what Anna?" It was taking every part of her not to shake the answers from her sister.

Though, really, she knew what she was going to say.

"I'm sorry Elsa. I slept with him."

Elsa's hands tightened round fistfuls of bed sheet, which stiffened and cracked. She imagined she was closing them around Kristoff's neck.

"When I see that boy—" she began, speaking slowly, with a deliberate calmness. "I'm going to—"

"Elsa, please! Don't blame Kristoff. It was my idea. I pushed him. He said we shouldn't— and, in the end, he said we should stop."

"So you didn't—?" hope tinged her words.

Anna shook her head in shame. "We did. But… it was no good. He was right all along. 'You only love the idea of me,' he said. I had no idea what he meant…"

Hands folded on her lap, Anna stared out of the window. She could have been staring a million miles away. The moon was slipping like a quiet burglar out of the window.

"I'm a fool Elsa," she said quietly. "I feel like a damn idiot. Going around, acting like I know everything about love. All that stupid advice I gave you! And when it comes down to it, I still don't have a clue, any more than I did when I agreed to marry Hans. I'm just greedy. I want love, but I've no idea how to return it. I'm like some terrible greedy child with eyes bigger than her stomach. I-"

"_Enough_, Anna." She grabbed her sister, and pulled her into a fierce embrace. "What are you trying to say?" her voice, by Anna's ear, was nasal with emotion. "That I should call heaven's wrath down upon you, because you don't love Kristoff? You either love someone or you don't. It's no one's _fault._ He knows that. That's why he offered that the two of you could still be friends. Because he's a good guy." He really was, Elsa realised. For all his horrible habits, the two of them probably could have been friends, if Elsa's own jealousy hadn't led her to keep her distance. "But," she said, "just because he's a good guy doesn't mean you have to spend your life making it up for the fact you don't love him. You owe _no one_ your love, Anna."

… _not even me._

She felt Anna hug her back. "I was sure you'd be angry with me," she confessed.

_I am, but… _"I love you more."

A hiccup, against her shoulder.

"You're too good for me Elsa."

Elsa couldn't help but laugh. Pulling back, Anna stared at her, puzzled.

"What?" she said.

"It's funny," said Elsa, between gasps of giggles. "So many times, I've thought exactly the same thing."

There was nothing funny about the situation, but because of all the emotions of the night, bottled and shaken until they fizzed, Anna started laughing too. She sniffled and laughed and wiped tears from her eyes with the back of her fist.

"Whaa—at? You're crazy!" she said. "You're amazing, Elsa. All the stuff you can do… and you're so elegant, and smart. I'm just…"

"-You're just sweet, and lovely. And caring. Your heart's so bigger Anna I don't know how it doesn't burst. And beautiful. I wish you knew how beautiful you are."

Anna was gazing at her. Maybe, thought Elsa, she'd been too honest.

"You really think that stuff about me?"

Elsa nodded. "Of course."

"Well you're beauti-fuller," Anna said, an old throwback. And they both laughed. How far, Elsa thought, they'd come since that night.

"Oh, psh," said Elsa, with a flick of her wrist.

"I'm serious!" said Anna, leant forward, fists tightened in sincerity. "If you were a man, I'd marry you in a heartbeat!"

"Well," said Elsa slyly, "maybe I should throw over all these suitors come to wed me and marry you instead."

"Oh Elsa!" Dramatically, Anna flung her arms around Elsa's neck. They beamed at one another, almost nose to nose, laughter rumbling in their chests.

And Elsa's heart felt light.

"Thanks Elsa," said her sister, squeezing her hand in hers. "I can always depend on you."

Elsa squeezed back, too happy to speak. If only, she thought, things could stay like this. She didn't need anything more.

"Say," said Anna. She was looking very mischievous all of a sudden, Elsa noted with alarm. "When we were little, you always used to give me a good-night kiss before we went to bed, right?"

Elsa felt like she was going to choke. "Yes…"

Anna jumped out of the covers and knelt on the bed. Closed her eyes and smiled expectantly.

The Queen's thoughts were meanwhile somewhere along these lines: _Oh god oh god oh god. _She licked her dry bottom lip. Brought her face close to Anna's, very carefully, aiming for a patch of freckled cheek.

When, at the last minute, Anna turned her head and she caught her on the lips instead.

"Anna!" Elsa gasped, hand flying to cover her tingling lips.

Anna's mirth escaped from her in raucous laughter. "Night!" she said, jumping under the sheets and throwing the cover over her.

Elsa wondered if she should just give up on sleep.

* * *

_To be continued._

* * *

A/N- **I'm never too sure when Frozen is meant to be set, if indeed it's meant to be set in our world at all. But the the style of the clothes and lack of modern inventions I decided they'd probably still have the no sex before marriage rule. Hence Anna's feelings of shame and embarrassment.**


	6. a dimmed light

**Part 6**- _a dimmed light_

_by Nina Windia_

The sunlight shining bright on her face, Anna awoke with a huge yawn. She laid for a few minutes in that blissful half-awake, half-asleep place, the pillows and the blankets and the sheets feeling so cosy she didn't want to move. Finally, when the need for the bathroom was too great, she pushed her eyes open and rolled onto her side.

To see Elsa laying beside her, face squished into the pillow. _This is a first_, she thought. Usually by the time she woke Elsa was up, dressed, and in a meeting.

A mischievous grin worked its way up onto her face. She crawled towards her sister, fingers poised to give Elsa the tickling of her life.

-When the memories from last night came flooding back.

Anna sat_. That was a dream, right? Or did I really...?_

She tried to remember. There'd been the argument with Elsa. She'd been miserable, and one of the servants had given her a glass of wine. And then she'd kept taking them, because she'd gotten the idea in the head if she drunk enough, she wouldn't have to think anymore. But the truth was, all it did was make her head feel fuzzy.

By the time Kristoff found her, she'd decided she was going to make things right. Because- _Even if Elsa thinks I'm a bother, Kristoff loves me. He loves me. _

Anna bullied him into coming with her down into the kitchens, and there they stole a bottle of wine, high-tailing it out of the castle just before Gerda could catch them. It was exciting and it was fun, and it made her feel like maybe things would be alright between them after all.

And then somehow they were back at his house, in his bedroom, drinking and pillow fighting and laughing.

"I didn't know you drunk, your Majesty," she remembered him saying.

She'd poked him in the chest and said, "Maybe there's a lot of things you don't know about me."

Then they were kissing, the way they always did. Except this time it was different. Their kisses were deeper, needier. And Anna was unbuttoning her gown and Kristoff's shirt was gone. And it was only when Anna tried to wriggle out of her undergarments and laughed when they bunched and caught on her ankle that Kristoff stopped her.

"Anna- wait," he said. "You've drunk- I've drunk too much."

"Oh, shh," said Anna, silencing him with a kiss. But gently he pushed her away.

"You don't want this," he said.

"And you get to decide that for me now?" she said, knelt on the bed, pouting lips with hands on her hips.

"Of course not. But this- you'll regret this Anna."

In his eyes she saw all the hurt she'd inflicted upon him. The distance she'd imposed. The unspoken words with jagged edges, far more painful than their half-serious, half-playful arguments.

And she couldn't stand it.

"Kristoff, I love you," she said. Though even then he didn't look convinced. She squeezed his hands, tight. "I'm sorry about the last few weeks. I want to make it up to you. I want things to be like before. So let me prove it to you."

"Anna-" he said. In his eyes, she saw his resolve slipping.

"I want you. I do," she said.

"Oh Anna. I love you too," Kristoff said, pulling her into his arms.

But the person she'd been trying to convince, she realised now, wasn't Kristoff. It was herself.

And later Anna curled up by his side, crying. She couldn't seem to stop crying.

"I'm- I'm so sorry Kristoff," she choked.

Kristoff sat, lent against the headboard, staring into the dark.

"I'm sorry, too," he said.

All her resolve laid in pieces around her. Ideas of engagement, marriage, and children. Smashed like fine china into powder.

"I think," he said, "I think maybe we should just be friends..."

Some portion of time later she got up and tried to leave. Kristoff tried to stop her.

"It's the middle of the night," he protested. "Stay here tonight, at least."

"I need Elsa," she said. So Kristoff let her go.

-Until she remembered their argument, and sat down at Elsa's door. Crying, thinking what a fool she'd been. Sobering up. Until her sister came out and found her.

Sat on the side of the bed, sun streaming through, she still felt a slight pounding at her temple.

_I'm never going to drink again,_ she vowed. _Never. _

She gazed at her sleeping sister. She'd been so sure Elsa would be incredibly angry at her. Instead, somehow, she'd understood.

Anna's eyes softened. How lucky she was to have a sister like Elsa.

* * *

As the children on stage moved into the final act, Elsa was struggling to keep her eyes open. When a yawn rose up in her throat, she swallowed it down. Queens did not yawn. Particularly not in public.

The local school children had decided, for the Pageant, to perform Sleeping Beauty. The prince, a little boy in a cavalier's hat, bent down to peck Briar Rose on the cheek, and the hat slid off his head.

"Aww," crooned Anna, sat at her side. "That's the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

All Elsa knew was she felt so exhausted Briar Rose's bed was looking very comfortable right about now.

She stole a glance at Anna, who was looking enraptured as Briar Rose's eyes fluttered open and she sat up to the hug the tiny prince.

Since this morning her sister had stuck to her like glue, even attending Elsa's meeting with her small council. She behaved like her usual cheerful self, but somehow, something about her personality felt overcast. As though someone had cupped their hands around her candle. Her flame burned a shade dimmer today.

She seems more fragile, thought Elsa. Like how she gets when she talks about Hans.

Elsa was just happy Kristoff wasn't in the town today. She wanted to sit down and talk with him, but... _But the way I feel now, I'd probably end up yelling at him. _

She was trying not to think about her sister and Kristoff together, because the thought made her want to throw up in her mouth.

Elsa just wished she was a little more knowledgeable on the subject. Princesses, however, weren't supposed to know about sex. Years ago, if she hadn't found certain books in the library, she would have herself spent her adolescence in the dark. It made her wonder if Anna had even known what she was getting herself into. Unvoiced questions died in her mouth: What was it like? Did it hurt?

Elsa stared at her hands, folded on her lap. She'd never so much as kissed anyone. Well, except for her sister.

Unbidden, memories of last night returned. Anna's lips. She'd no idea lips could be so soft. Unconsciously, Elsa's fingers moved to touch her mouth. Her eyes slipped closed.

She imagined: not Kristoff now, but her. Her pushing Anna down onto the bed. Her, clambering up atop Anna. Skin sliding against skin. Lips against lips. Hands twisting in Anna's hair, and-

Loud cheering interrupted Elsa's daydream. Her eyes snapped open against the bright sunlight of the square. Onstage, the children were taking a bow. Anna was standing and applauding.

_Dear god. Just what is wrong with me?_

"Ahem. Queen Elsa." Her head whirled round to see Kai, holding a bouquet in his arms.

"Oh, of course." Unsteadily, Elsa got to her feet and took the flowers from Kai. Watching her footing she climbed the steps to the stage, and there presented the bouquet to the girl who'd played the part of Briar Rose.

"It was a lovely play," she said, bending down so she was eye height with the children. "You must have all practised so hard. You should be proud," she said.

The girl clutched the bouquet to her and gasped out, "Thank you Queen Elsa!"

Their innocent eyes burned her, like hellfire.

She glanced up into the crowd. Saw white skin, red cheeks. The seer Ada, on her queen's arm, watching her intently.

* * *

"Wow! These are really fancy cakes!" said Anna.

After a busy morning in the town watching the play by the children and visiting their school, she and Anna had only just had time to retire to the drawing room for lunch. And after their sandwiches, Gerda had brought in a tray of some very nice looking cakes.

Whistling, Anna picked up from the serving tray a fairy cake topped with lilies made from blue icing. She held it to the light. "I almost don't want to eat it, it looks so pretty."

"I'm not sure I can believe that," said Elsa.

"Okay, yeah, that's not true," said Anna, promptly stuffing it into her face.

"Oh, Anna." Still, she couldn't help but laugh at Anna's face as she realised she'd bitten off more than she could chew. Gob full, cheeks pink, she banged on her chest.

"Are you okay?"

Anna turned redder, and then swallowed it down in one big gulp.

"Pass me another!" she said.

Elsa could only echo her previous sentiment: "Oh, _Anna_..." She eyed her face. Said, "Wait one moment. You've got a bit of..." she reached for a napkin, and lent over the coffee table to wipe the buttercream from Anna's cheek. Squinting one eye closed, Anna laughed.

"Elsa! Who do you think you are, Mum?" As though she'd just realised what she'd said, Anna's laughter died down. She quickly explained: "I... always used to get into a huge mess at dinner. Mum would wipe my face, just like that."

Elsa let the napkin float down onto the tray. "I remember," she said, brushing her skirt up behind her as she sat. "I was there... for some of it."

"Sorry, Elsa..."

_Why? For what?_ She thought.

"Do you... still think about them?" Elsa asked.

Anna stroked one of her braids. "Sometimes... lately, quite a lot. I don't know why." She paused, glancing up at Elsa. "Do... do you?"

Elsa took a sip of her tea, and set it back on the saucer with a slight clatter.

"To tell the truth... I mean, unless I'm so busy I don't have the time... yes, everyday."

"What do you think about?" Anna asked quietly.

Elsa pushed out the creases in her dress. "I miss them. And I wonder... about what went wrong. How things turned out the way they did."

"I'm sure..." said Anna, "that they were just trying to help."

Elsa nodded. That was what she clung onto, too.

_Papa didn't mean it_, she thought, a familiar mantra. _He was only trying to help. He didn't realise what it would do to us_. She looked up at her sister. Felt, after all this time, the lingering distance between them. They weren't ordinary siblings anymore. They were regaining their closeness, but it wasn't the same one they'd had as children. After all, this was the first time they'd spoken of the parents, in what? A year? More?

_When was the last time? _She thought, in growing horror.

"Elsa... are you okay?"

She snapped away from her thoughts. Pushed the tray across the table to Anna.

"Have another cake," she said. "I want to see you eat one without choking on it this time."

Anna whipped it up, tossed it in her hand. "Challenge accepted!" she said.

A knock came at the door.

"Come in," said Elsa.

It was Kai. "Your Majesties. Prince Jareth and his companion Miss Ada have requested an audience with you." His eyes moved to Anna, face stuffed, a lemon meringue sticking out of her gob. Tactfully he added, "Shall I... tell them now is an inopportune time, Ma'am?"

Truth be told, Elsa had no particular desire to see Matilda's seer again any time soon. But before she could respond the negative, Anna swallowed down the rest of her cake.

"Prince Jareth?" she asked, eyes wide, open palms slammed down on the table. "Who's that?"

"One of Queen Matilda's grandsons," said Elsa. "Kai, could you kindly tell them that we're sorry but that-"

"-That we'll receive them immediately," Anna said. Elsa raised her eyebrows at her.

Anna crossed her arms. Raised her chin. "As your sister," she started, with pomp, "it's my job to assess these so-called suitors and see if they're up to standards."

"Not this again," said Elsa, exasperated.

"Yes, this again," said Anna, leaning forward with fervour. "And if he doesn't measure up..." with her foot, she gestured giving Jareth the boot. Except that she managed to kick the heavy oak coffee table instead. "Ouch... ouch... I'm fine."

Elsa sighed and picked up a scone. "Alright. Kai, please send them in."

"As you say, Ma'am," said Kai, with a not-so-well hidden smirk.

Anna was still rubbing her foot when the rap at the door came again.

"Come in Kai," Elsa said. Kai led in their guests.

"Your Majesties. Presenting Prince Jareth and Miss Ada," he said, still smiling at Anna. She glared at him.

Ada curtsied. "Thank you for receiving us. It's wonderful to see you again Queen Elsa," she said. She was wearing a green dress embroidered with flowers, in the low-cut back fashion of the Spring Court. But Elsa's eye was drawn to her hair. Just like last night, it was braided in the exact same style Anna wore it. For reasons she couldn't put into words, it made her feel deeply uncomfortable.

She stood, and Anna followed suit, leaping up out of the chair.

Jareth kissed Elsa's hand. "Truly is a pleasure, your Majesty," he said.

Now he wasn't surrounded by a hundred other interchangeable noblemen, she studied him closer. He wasn't tall, only her own height. Slim to the point of silliness, stick legs, with blond hair long enough he'd tied it back. Though, she had to admit, his hair was _nice_. Looking at the gleam it kept, she thought she knew several ladies who would kill for hair so fine.

Apparently, from Anna's stare of shock and envy, her sister was one of them. She saw her mouth the words, "Son of a-"

She only just managed to pull on a crooked smile by the time Jareth turned to her, taking her hand and planting a kiss on it.

"Yourself as well, Princess. My name's Prince Jareth of the Spring City."

"Uh... hi," she said.

Elsa raised her eyebrows at her sister, as if to say: You better not be falling for this one.

'You're kidding!' Anna mouthed. She coughed and covered it with her hand.

"Join us and have a cake," she said. "They're super good."

"My sister certainly speaks from experience," Elsa said.

Anna kicked her.

"Scone?" she said sweetly, offering the tray to Ada.

Their guests took a cake each and Anna got straight to the point. "So... uh, for what do we owe you the pleasure of your company?"

Sipping her tea, Elsa smiled. Anna had always struggled with etiquette. She just ended up sounded like a child trying on her mother's shoes.

"Do we need to get straight to business?" asked Jareth, flashing a charming smile. "I'm quite enjoying being surrounded by so many lovely ladies."

Anna stared at him. He quickly took another scone.

Ada lent forward in her chair. "Your Majesty," she said to Elsa, "it's a trifle really. It's about her Grace Queen Matailda. She has a room on the third floor, and though she wouldn't ever admit it, she's having trouble with the stairs. I spoke with your master of the inventory but he seemed uncooperative. Which lead me to fear the Queen made have said something... innappropriate. I believe you have witnessed the kind of thing I'm talking about first-hand."

"What I have to live with everyday," Jareth said, arms slung behind the armchair, head tilted back in a sigh.

Stealthily, Anna put a hand to her chest. 'My heart bleeds,' she mouthed.

Elsa stifled a giggle behind her cup.

Ada continued, "If you could be so kind as to have a word, your Majesty, I would-"

Elsa set her cup down. "No problem at all. I'll speak to Kai this afternoon."

It occurred to Elsa now. Where was Queen Matilda? This was the first time she'd seen the girl not attached to the old woman. She asked Ada how her queen was faring. Ada responded that the queen was feeling tired and went to rest in her quarters, and thank you for asking.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Anna lining up the rest of the cakes into a circle on the tray. So much for all her sister's bravado. She was bored already.

"You'll have to forgive me," Elsa said. "I hate to ask you to leave so soon, but because of the Paegent we've a lot left to do...-"

"We understand, your Majesty," said Ada, standing and curtsying once more, very formal. "Thank you for seeing us on such short notice."

Jareth stood too, but then paused, as though a thought had hit him.

"I say," he said, "Princess Anna, you must let Ada read your fortune sometime. She read your sister's last night."

That caught Anna's attention.

Elsa bit her lip. The uneasy feeling was back in her stomach.

"You're a fortune-teller?" Anna asked Ada eagerly.

"Essentially, Princess, yes," said Ada.

"Ooh, Elsa," her sister said excitedly, whirling round to her. "What did you see?"

_Good god. What do I say?_

Ada, however, shook her head. "I couldn't get a clear reading for your sister. In my experience, some people are harder to read than others. But I'd be happy to look at for your future Princess Anna."

"That's very kind of you," Elsa said, quickly. "But I'm afraid we don't have time."

Anna looked aghast. "But El-_-sa_. She's a fortune-teller. A _fortune-teller_."

Elsa clasped her hands in front of her. "You've seen our schedule Anna."

"But- Elsa-" she implored.

"It won't take but a minute," Ada said.

_Oh-_

"Fine. Do as you wish." She turned, swiftly, to face the window, where Anna wouldn't see her shaking hands.

But she listened, intently.

"What do you wish to know, Princess?" the seer asked.

_She'll ask about love, _Elsa thought.

"I... I want to know what direction I need to travel in, to find happiness."

Elsa turned. _What...?_

Ada had hold of her sister's hands. She began to speak. "I see troubles ahead of you, Princess, I'm afraid. But there is a person... I see them standing close to you. They're a person you know very well. That person will help guide you through it. And through that person you will find happiness. The manner of that happiness, however, is up to you."

"A person close to me?" Anna murmured. She looked pleasantly mystified. "I love riddles."

"We'll take our leave now. Thank you for seeing us your Majesties," said Ada. Jareth said some courteous words. Though, puzzlingly, Ada dropped the stiffly formal curtsy. Instead she pressed Elsa's hand between her own. "Till next we meet," she said, before she and the prince left.

Elsa discovered why. She'd pressed a folded piece of paper into her hand. Elsa stared at it.

Behind her Anna said, "Can't say I think much of The Hair, unless you're interested in taking lessons on how to bore someone to death. Suppose he could be worse though... Elsa?" Gingerly she asked, "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"No, of course not," Elsa said absently, unfolding the paper. She read through the short message once, and then again, in case she'd misread it. And then the note in her hands was solid ice.

_Queen Elsa,_

_I saw more of your future than I could say yesterday, in good company. If you wish to know more, meet me in my room tonight. I'd recommend you tell no one else about this, but I imagine you realise that already. _

_I'll be waiting. _

**To be continued.**


End file.
